is it sad?

is it sad that i wish my parents were seperated because its stressful when they're together and i dont feel that my mom is safe with him? is it sad that i could care less if i died and i wish sometimes that i would? is it said that i hate my brothers and my family? is it sad that i dont really like people? it is sad but its true.

If you really knew me...

I'm watching the show If you really knew me and so I decided to make a blog about if you really knew me. If you really knew me you would know I dont care who you are or what you are but I love and hate you just like I love and hate the world. I'm loving but you may not know that because I can be really mean because its what people want, If you really knew me you would know that I'm bipolar and my brothers always tell me I only say that for attention and its not like that and my brothers abuse me and assualt me daily but my parents don't do anything to stop them. My family hurts my confidence and don't care, if you really knew me you would know I would only feel anythihng if my mom died and I would be mad at her for leaving me with my father and my brothers and if I was left with them I know I would kill myself... If you really knew me you would know I'm not a confident and happy as I pretend to be, I hate myself and my family, I wish my life were different but it's not... It's really hard for me to be happy there are only a few people I know who make me 100% happier those people are Jeremiah Kima, Haili Noyes, and Jon... thats some things you would know if you really knew me.

Jeremiah!!!

I love Miahs, he tolded me he loves me so I'm happy and then I asked him If I wanted a cute baby that looked like him would he help me and then he asked classic way, or like donation? I told him the classic way and he was okay with that?! I love him alot, more than I've ever loved anyone and he's always there for me :)

the like 3 people following this should try to help to get this noticed and ill love you forevers! im depressed and alone idk why so dont ask... im bored though should have a dance party might make me happier...

all alone

Miahs is my best friend and he's the only person I'll tell anything and everything because he's nice...

I feel alone and I need help so anwser these questions.

Would you try to leave an abusive place if you love those who hurt you and if one of 4 ppl loves you and it would break her heart if you lleft? Would you still try when noone cares when they hear your screams at night?

Everyone i loveis leaving me my dreams crush me under stone cold dreams when their acid spit trails the words telling me im worthless and none of my love and life and passion will ever mean anything.

Kelsey: the abused and the used

You got to learn about Kelsey Jane Holdridge! the creator of this blog! She is called the abused because she simply is, no one really notices except for the fact that when she runs from the pain and uncomfortable feelings of her home she has panic attacks and pain is clearly on her face. She smokes cigs sometimes and drinks rarely she's not a mean person but she comes from pure confusion, its her brothers more than anyone constantly telling her shes wrong, shes bad, worthless, alone, emo... and noone ever tells her anything different her parents blow it off, her dad calls her a whore than says he's joking and his wife, her mother is so passive she beileves him. Kelsey loves her brothers and her mother, but not much more than any random person who walks down the street next to her and her father, she just wishes was gone.. only sometimes does she feel for him, she wishes she wouldnt have dreams that her parents got divorced, even died.. her brothers just she cant think about its hard she doesnt like it. her brothers sometimes harass her in ways that even her mother notices is wrong but she simply says theyre just brothers... but Kelsey, she cant believe that. She feels alone and she doesnt want to hurt her family by leaving but at the same time shes been sick for months but hasnt been allowed to go to the doctor because she had back sugery and she always goes to the doctor and they nothings wrong so her mother thinks shes over reacting to get attention like her brothers think she does everything for, for attention but she only wants attention when shes on stage and no where else. She has big dreams and feels she wont get anywhere by staying here. She's confused to know if she should leave or not because she does get hurt and hit and ignored but in a way that no one really believes or notices and she hates it she gets sicker and sicker and has panic attacks ALOT and breaks down crying alot and she needs help but no one seems to be willing to give it to her shes afraid if she tries to get away no one will let her and things will just get worse...

PLEASE HELP ME

WHAT SHOULD I DO?

SHOULD I TRY TO GET AWAY?

PLEASE HELP!

pain and sickness

panic attacks racing through you unhinging the bones throughout your spine making you shake without reason. I fall into a pit of dark insane... and it can not be stopped I hate it I feel so much pressure and I explode,, I cry, I cant be touched, touching me is an easy way to get hit I hate being touched unless I touch you first, looking for comfort. I am ignored, things have gotten better but still not good my brothers destroy me, they hit me, and suffocate me, I hated being at the cottage with them, with nothing to do but sit in one room together they hit me and mocked me and hurt me inside and out but sadley they leave no bruises, no marks, no cuts so no one believes me, idk is it abuse? I guess not, no one else thinks it is they hear my screams but they dont care they see me run away crying but again no one cares, they dont look for me as long as I tell them I'mleaving they dont really ever care if I'm ssafe or not. I hate my father, he hates me its even I think if someone said they were going to take me away he'd laugh he thinks everything is a joke. I HATE HIM! My parents act like they hate eachother and all three of us most of the time my dad got mad and through a phone book right down the stairs to where my mom was when he was mad at her but he said that he wasnt aiming, Zach and Andy arefine here and I dont care if this isnt considered abuse but its too much for me I suffer from what I bileve is panic attacks, anxeity and depression. I'm always sickk too but my parents wont take me into the doctors until my physical becasue I have to have one for school anyways.